I’m taking up law while he is presently busy with his work. We entered into a relationship that will have a tough time being seen as what new couples should be. Great passion for our dreams is always paired with great constant anxiety ahead.
In law school, it is not an embellishment when I say that I can squander six days in front of books and cases alone. Well, I need it. I need it to pass. I need it to prove how long I can survive in this institution because of its high mortality rate. I need it to justify how worthy I am that I have this privilege. I need it to verify my parents wrong about their doubts of my weaknesses, hence, the hectic, stringent, and fixed study schedule.
With all these heaviness and demands behind me, believe me, ang hirap magplano ng date or even simple meet-ups with him. We see each other once a week but mutually consented to it through dinner or mass together but after that, I go back to my routine as a student. What’s left is that we text or tweet when I am on my 10-minute study break or when it’s time for the lights to go off. I feel a little advantageous in my situation knowing that he will be the one always asking me to go out with him, checking if I’m free to spend time alone with him without the books, to take a luxuriant break, and make me feel not as much of what I’m getting used to for two years now.
In this kind of setup, we never had any arguments, yet. Siguro kasi bago pa lang or the likes but I think it is our own priorities that keeps us away from disagreements. It has come to my attention and always has been that I have little time left to spend. I see to it that he gets what he be worthy of, being loved as much as he does to me. I cannot take this kind of love for granted because for once in my life, I needed it, so much. Why?
The dread I would inevitably obtain from the pressure of law school is unbearable when no one is there to pat you on the shoulder, when no one is there to hear your ramblings and bothered thoughts, and when no one is there to stop the tears from falling from your eyes. Hard is an understatement for those who take their passions seriously and sincerely. Because of him, I cannot fathom a life without this kind of love I am receiving forthwith. Honestly, I can live to tell the tale of my life harmoniously without his love, but I cannot unravel the tranquility that I am and have been contemplating for such a long time, so if you’re reading this, I’m putting it into text to tell you that I am remarkably grateful to have you as my better half.